ted wears a dog suit to the
dog park on sixth street and he
sniffs all the hydrants and he
gets in a fight with someone's
house alarm spaniel it was
chewing through sandals it was
yipping at children he feels
proud to defend them
ted wears a dog suit to the
drug store by james field and he's
browsing through canned meats when he
sees this old lady try to
pocket some Altoids so he
runs up on all fours and starts
barking his ass off
I could hear from the back door
I was sitting on milk crates
I was out for a smoke break
I come in and he's out cold
she goes, "clean up in dry foods"
I play golf on my cell phone
she calls animal control
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